Eddie Izzard, Watch Out!

I made up a joke today. It's awesome, if I do say so myself.

A lady went to the grocery store after making the decision to cook healthier food for her family. Still new at the healthy eating game, she wasn't always sure which products would be best to replace her standard fare. She decided to bring her buggy to the checkout and ask the young lad at the till. She held up canned fruit and a fresh orange and he replied "the orange of course!" Then she held up two loaves of bread. "The whole wheat, no question!" he said. Finally she picked up a stick of butter and a tub of Becel. After thinking for a second the employee pointed to the container and stated "That one, but only margarine-ally."

Am I a comedic genius? I'd venture to say yes! Bahahah!

aaahhhhkkk-werd!

Today I noticed that a girl at work and I are on the same pee schedule. After three run-ins in the washroom, I told her so. I didn't think it was that weird of something to point out. She, apparently, disagreed. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: (enter washroom and notice co worker washing hands)
"Hey! We're on the same pee schedule!"
Co-worker: (with confusion and discomfort)
"yeah..."
Then she left. Now, maybe I'm just way too easily amused but if someone had pointed that out to me I would have reacted more "hey really? That's so hilarious! Well, enjoy your pee! See you here in bit!" But that's just me.

Big Soup Sunday

An old roommate, and very dear friend, made a cameo appearance in my life this week. It was lovely getting to spend a few precious moments catching up- with only mild revertigo! My favourite part of the visit however, was bringing over our Fredericton-based tradition to introduce to some new friends here in O-Town. That tradition (pause for dramatic effect) is Big Soup Sunday.

It started a few years ago when I noticed a ginormous, family sized -no, make that ARMY sized- can of Campbell's soup rolling around in the back seat of my friend's car. The few of us riding along were both confused, curious, and mildly disgusted about the what and why of this soup. Turns out, it was just a big can of soup, given to him by another friend. The fun part of this story is the epic tradition that emerged following that first Sunday when a few of us got together to eat a big can of soup.

Loving any excuse for dinner parties, Big Soup Sunday quickly became a regular occurrence during my undergrad days. For me it was about more than just getting to cook with and for my very best friends. It allowed for the stretching of culinary muscles, since we NEVER make the same soup twice. It was also about relaxing. Big Soup Sundays were afternoons without homework or studying. They were about chopping, talking, stirring, laughing, dipping, slurping, and loving. And GIANT pots.

A couple of us were static as head chefs. The sous chefs varied, depending on what jobs there were to be done. The guest list was always the same: everyone welcome, just bring a couple of dollars or an ingredient. Some of the masterpieces that emerged ranged from simple and traditional like clam chowder, or minestrone, to a few outside-the-box creations like red lentil and spicy sausage, or Asian carrot.

I go back for visits during the summer and at Christmas and Big Soup is always incorporated. Although Big Soup here will never be the same as it was, it's nice that a couple of us were able to introduce the tradition to a few others. As I write this though, I'm torn because it makes me sad to think about the possibility of people making Big Soup without me. I want to share the love, but Big Soup Sunday is also about being just a LITTLE big selfish. Everyone wants that last ladle full.

So, the O-Town version of Big Soup Sunday featured corn chowder, spicy Asian vegetable, and won-ton. I made the mistake of buying frozen, pre-made wontons (SHAME ON ME!) and they tasted like a barn smells. It was disgusting. Stupid barn soup! The others, however, were a hit. My favourite was the corn chowder. We added two shredded zucchinis, red pepper, and bacon to enhance the colour and add variety of texture and flavour to an othewise ordinary soup. Also, with only a splash of cream at the end, I love how we were able to achieve a creamy texture so naturally without the added fat. Mmmm...I wish Big Soup Sunday could be every day.

Internshit

So I applied for an internship with this slightly sketch bag publishing house just cause I need some experience badly. You see you cannot get a job in this industry without first suffering your way through an internship. So I got an interview, which I thought went very well and thought my chances were pretty good. Then I received an e-mail letting me know that they had chosen another person who had more experience and had done several other internships previously. Now I am not sure if this is just me being crazy but is an internship not designed to allow noobs (please excuse my gaming terminology) to get some experience and then get a real job?
So if this person has done 3 or 4 internships previously shouldn't they maybe have enough know how at this point to get a real job that pays more than $10 an hour? I thought so.

So to the internship junkie that can't get enough of doing mediocre work for even more mediocre pay I say....get a life, get a real job, and please give someone else a chance.

To the jackasses that labeled this employment opportunity an "internship", lets just call it what it is shall we.....a really shitty paying job that involves a lot of work for someone that refuses to move on to bigger and better things.

In conclusion, I guess I will need to get an internship to get an internship to get an intership....you just can't win.

Would you like a bag with that?

Although I no longer live in TO, I was beyond thrilled to hear the news about the goal for 70% waste reduction of plastic bags by 2012. I also don't want to be a spokesperson for Indigo/Chapters as I will remain an adamant supporter of our locally owned neighbourhood bookstores, but I feel compelled to mention that Indigo has made a commitment to use the newly instated $0.05 bag fee for the Indigo Environmental Fund. The fund serves to further forest conservation through the support of a number of not-for-profit environmental organizations that promote sustainable forest management and effective use of forest resources. Although it's just a drop in the bucket, I was happy to see that they'd started the fund with a $10,000 donation to the Canadian Boreal Initiative. So, well played Indigo. Well played indeed.

In barbecue news, I attended one last night. While it was deliciously traditional with burgers, potato salad, ketchup chips, and the unique addition of chorizo (which I'd previously only ever had in paella), I did something personally un-traditional and something for which I'm deeply ashamed... I purchased dessert.... Ugh, this might be a ridiculous regret for y'all to be reading about but if there's one thing I love, it's cooking for others. Picking up some two-bite brownies and mini frozen cheesecake things (which were delicious, by the way) is fine if you can't cook but I just never feel right about buying something that I'm perfectly capable of making. I guess I the other factor is that I was meeting some new people and I don't think store-bought brownies are the impression that accurately sums me up. Still they were all very fun and friendly. I even received the French-Canadian two cheek kiss in greeting and in parting! I'm thinking I'll do some culinary penance this weekend and bake a few loaves of bread. That'll prove I can rise to the occasion. Get it? Rise? Like bread dough?

Oxford poetry professor resigns over scandal:

Check out this crazy news!

Oxford poetry professor resigns over scandal: On Monday, Ruth Padel resigned from her recently elected position of Professorship of Poetry at the University of Oxford after she admitted to publicizing charges that her rival for the position, Derek Walcott, had sexually harassed a former student in the early 1980s. Padel acknowledged that she sent e-mails to 2 journalists pointing them to a book which carries allegations made against Walcott, who was recently hired as the University of Alberta's first distinguished scholar in residence. Walcott withdrew from the Oxford competition because the allegations resurfaced. Oxford will now hold another election for the position.

Oxford professor of poetry Ruth Padel resigns after smear allegations
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/may/25/ruth-padel-resigns-oxford-poetry-professor

moosic for cows, mewsic for cats, muzak for elevators

I promise I'm not trying to turn this into a music blog. That said, here's another post about music. It's more my internal (and eternal) struggle with concert ticket purchases than an actual post. Feel free to stop reading here.

So, here's my conundrum: The Ottawa Bluesfest performer listings is up. There are quite a few bands I'd love to see, but even more that I'd only -like- to see. What's a concert really worth? And, how much should an individual pay for the live concert experience? Is that as important as the music itself? It's really a tough one for me. I enjoy live bands enough that they don't have to be my absolute favourite for me to purchase a ticket. Still, if it's two weeks of musical decisions, maybe I should be a bit more selective about my ticket purchases for the sake of my wallet. I need someone to tell me how to prioritize. Who should make my 'must see' list?

Some contenders are:

Jackson Browne
Blue Rodeo
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The National
Xavier Rudd
The Stills
Iron & Wine
The Zombies
The Yardbirds
Okkervil River
Ani DiFranco
Black Mountain

Aaaaand, at the risk of y'all thinking I'm lame, my favourite show of last year's Bluesfest just happened to be the best show of my LIFE; James Taylor. What if by skipping some of my favourites, I miss out on what could also make the list of 'best ever shows'? Hmmmmm? Exactly. Conundrum.

Also, since we're on the subject, here's a must-check-out:
The Sunday Sinners
http://www.myspace.com/thesundaysinners

I recommend the song 'What Goes On'. The lead singer has a fabulous voice. Girl crush!

Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

At the suggestion of a friend, I decided to write using as many semi-colons as possible while still maintaining grammatical correctness. Feel free to let me know how I've done.

After a week spent out of town for work, I was anxious to come home and spend a bit of time in the kitchen; making some jars of vanilla infused sugar with real vanilla beans, of course; making some granola to take to work; it burned just a little- just enough to be toast-ily delicious I hope; and my favourite, bruschetta, heavy on the garlic.

Some friends and I made the most of May Two-Four (early though it came this year) and I've been in the recovery process ever since; my post-party remedies have been thoroughly embraced; a big breakfast of pancakes and eggs; plenty of water; a fresh air fueled evening stroll; and several hours spent on the couch watching movies.

Actually, this has become a weekend of movies; yay; Star Trek was the theater choice; I'd give it two thumbs up; then came Happy-Go-Lucky; adorable and I just love British film; then W.; a film I wouldn't waste time watching again; and finally, Miracle at St.Anna; I'm not generally one for war movies, though I do have a weakness for historical fiction; this one was watchable but I won't be adding it to my wish list.

Man, I love punctuation; specifically, semi-colons.

Highway Driving and Peeving

Okay so yesterday I was driving on the 401 from Windsor to Toronto for about three hours on my way back to the T-Hole. Now really when you are driving there is not much to do but sing at the top of your lungs to your favorite song while passing drivers stare (which I totally do with no shame), but too my suprise people were doing very interesting things to alleviate the boredom of driving. So nice of them to entertain themselves at the possible expense of the rest of the driver's cars, insurance rates, and lives. Not only did this amuse me, but the shape of some peoples' cars that are driving on the highway were more than a little questionable.

Here is a list of things that entertained me and made me laugh, while at the same time scaring me into passing these drivers as fast and as wide into the shoulder as possible:

1. A woman with a windshield that looked like it had been beaten with a Lousiville Slugger just driving along like nothing happened. LADY THATS MADE OUT OF GLASS AND ITS BARELY HANGING ON....AND YOU ARE DOING 140KM ON THE 407....COMMMME ON.

2. A man just enjoying himself driving 70km/hr smoking a cigar....with all the windows rolled up.

3. An old man reading the paper. Like dude could you maybe focus on...DRIVING

4. A young person that was swerving all over the road that was, upon further investigation, text messaging.

5. A woman in a giant SUV swerving all over because she apparently felt the need to clean out her car while driving....she was full on like digging under the seat and not looking at oncoming traffic at all.

6. Last but most entertainingly. The dude driving with his foot out the window.....I don't even know what to say about this.

*** honorable mention goes to the man I saw over my Christmas travels on the 401 who had a tampon hanging out the window. It appears that the string was caught on the window as it was rolled up. How does this happen? Who knows but I was laughing in hysterics for about 20 minutes at this unsuspecting nerdlinger in his Ford Fiesta.

Mark My Words

This week I saw into my future. I met with the office copyeditor to discuss my first editing assignment of the summer. It. Was. Awesome. I am happy to report that editing ability is up to par, for someone with limited experience, that is. I was also anointed a "word nerd," a term I PROUDLY accept. It's highly reassuring to know that there does exist a career path with individuals of our experience, education, and passion. I'm looking forward to diving into more copyediting over the next few months. I'll be sure to keep y'all posted if the novelty wears off.

*****

In other news, last night I attended a concert that I was very much looking forward to. It was highly disappointing. The first opener? Awesome. The second act? Awesome. The headliners? Ummmmm....Uhhhhhh..... I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THEM.

Okay, maybe I'm over reacting, I can admit that it's a possibility. Here's what happened: It was a late show and although the first two acts were enjoyable, the set up times in between acts was just too lengthy. The venue itself was appropriately dingy, hot, and crowded. The crowd was a satisfying mix of twenty somethings; hippies, hipsters, randoms, etc. There were pockets of douchebags, which is tolerable. There was no one who looked like they belonged at a dance club, which is a relief. (I must avoid that tangent for now. I promise, it will arise again in the future at which time it will be properly addressed.) The problem started during the wait for the lead act (King Khan and the Shrines). We waited for about a half hour of set up before we heard some of the musicians take the stage and begin to don their instruments. Of course, those sounds generally indicate the final minutes of musical count down so the crowd began to accumulate in front of the stage. It was dense, but that's to be expected. The last King Khan show I attended erupted into a mosh pit; not the best situation for someone of my vertically challenged stature. Still, I expected to enjoy a few tunes and then step aside when the crowd became too rowdy. Unfortunately the tunes never came. I'm not sure what the deal was but the backup musicians stood awkwardly on stage, randomly strumming, honking, tapping their instruments for another half hour. At this point the crowd was super restless; some jerks were chanting, others were clapping, but mostly there was just pushing, elbowing, kneeing, and sweating. That was enough for me. You know what King Khan? I may like your music, but your stage etiquette BLOWS. It's an insult to be made to wait without explanation while your band has indicated that the show should begin. DISAPPOINTED.

Fortunately, the night ended on a high note: poutine! There's really no situation that poutine cannot improve.