Discovering the Lazy Overachiever in Me

So I have now been working for 1 full, torturous, exhausting, and irritating year. I am about ready to bring on the retirement but that is a very far far off dream. One thing I noticed about myself is that as much as I would like to rejoice in the fact that I can just do my job and come home and then proceed to vegetate on the couch, I can't! I always need something to strive for, something to work at, something to achieve. For example, I am presenting my 2 year old Master's Thesis paper at a conference on Friday. I am scared shitless because I am not sure I know how to do it anymore. I am imagining some old crusty scholar asking me "soooo you finished this research 2 years ago. Where has this work progressed to now?" To which I would be forced to respond, "I took all that wonderful research and history knowledge and got a job as an engineering secretary." To which I am sure I would receive a very disturbed look of confusion and then a polite nod.

So why am I doing this? I suppose it lies in the fact that I can never stop. I need more knowledge, more publications, more street cred., and more importantly, more progress. More MORE MOREEEEE! Sorry I got carried away.

I wish I could come home and sit on the couch, watch TV, each cheetos, and sigh in relief that I am done another day. I am caught between the thrill of being lazy and the passion to achieve. God sometimes being a millennial is just the worst. Oh well at least we are super technologically savvy.